Part of me believes he was otherworldly. A boy so kind, so wonderful, with a heart that cared for others more than I’ve ever witnessed, did not belong in a world so cruel-in a world that did him so wrong.

But he loved this world. He loved what this world had to offer. The airplanes he would soon fly, the arguments about North Korea he would win, the countless opportunities to empower those who were not as fortunate as he. And each time I curse the world for failing him, for leaving me here and taking the boy with so much potential, I remind myself that Rory would’ve wanted me to fly. Not just literally, but through appreciating each day that is given to me. Using up every single minute of each day and every opportunity to ensure that I get to do all the things he so badly wanted to do.

I live each day knowing that there will be an empty chair at the dinner table, an open seat in a row at graduation, a missing best man, and no uncle- on earth-for my future children. I grieve for the kindred spirit I lost and the moments I won’t have with him.

Another year without him. Another year of heartbreak and reflecting on the times he will miss.

I miss you forever, my sunshine, my chicken butt, my goofball of a big brother.

No one will ever know me like you.

-Kathleen